Ask a Question Stupidly...

One of my favorite things about working in a public library is when people ask a question, but do it stupidly. I feel have no choice but to give them a stupid response. These are honest-to-God examples, and my honest-to-God responses.

Patron: "Where are dolphins?"
Me: "They live in the ocean."

Patron: "Excuse me, where are cars?"
Me: "In the parking lot."

Patron: "Can you tell me where Edgar Allan Poe is?"
Me: "He's dead and buried somewhere, ma'am."

Ah, gotta love the public.

Turn the Page

For some reason I've never figured out, the job of the library Page is severely looked down upon. Typically, they work a 4 hour shift, 5 days a week since it's a part time job. Of that 4 hours, a good 3 hours and 45 minutes of it is spent standing on your feet. Any time we are seeing taking a rest or standing still for a minute at our branch is typically met with a "Have we run out of things to do?" query from the head librarian.

So let me get this straight - if it's slow at the front desk, clerks can sit down and read a book. If it's slow at the reference desk, librarians are sitting down, can read a book or go on the internet. And if it's slow for a page...well, you're supposed to find work to do.

I was recently told I need to work on my "time management skills" and to "pick up the pace" which completely baffled me. My shelving is consistently done in less than 1 1/2 hours every day. If it looks like I'm "wandering" around the library, it's because I'm looking for shit to do! I don't like to stand still or hide in the stacks. If I go up to the front to pick up 6 DVDs, it's because I want the exercise and putting away 6 DVDs is something to do.

The unfair part is I wasn't even given a chance to speak on this. I was simply told all this and sent on my way.

If all of my assignments are done in half the time of my shift, how can I possibly manage my time better? Sounds like I'm kicking a lot of ass if you ask me. Which they didn't. They just went on their assumptions that I was killing time and "wandering" around the library. So lame.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

We got to see something kind of interesting outside of the library the other day. The children's section has large glass windows on one side that look out onto the street behind the branch. For about 40 minutes, we got to watch 5 unmarked cop cars plan out a raid. Seriously. They were getting handcuffs out of their trunk, as well as shotguns, riot gear and battering rams. It was pretty freakin' awesome.

Being an avid viewer of Cops in my youth, I know they usually plan these out and get ready a few blocks away from the actual raid, but you have to wonder if they knew they were in full view of the children's' section of a library.

Online School

I think I made the right decision in choosing which online school to attend. After meeting and talking to some students in the other program I considered, I'm confident I chose the right one. They talked about not having time for a social life and how much the classes were kicking their ass...es.

Not that my online school is the easiest thing I've done but I'm surprised more people aren't going there. If your job is to locate information, wouldn't you research a school that's engineered for full-time working individuals, is cheaper and can get you done in two years flat?

Eejit

I went to a workshop for future librarians, and one panel was presented by a telephone reference librarian. Basically, it's an area where you can call-in, instant message or e-mail for reference assistance. This one guy asked the librarian what they would do if someone called in that needed immediate help in regard to domestic violence. My first thought was, "If someone needs help with that, I don't think they'd be calling the library."

In all fairness, the librarian said they'd probably look up the number for a local shelter but said they couldn't imagine getting such a call. Because most people, if they need emergency assistance...you know, call emergency assistance.

Seriously?

Someone in my online class posted their paper FIVE days early. Wow, do I feel like a slacker now.

Patronage

As a lowly library page, one of the things I've come up with to deal with boredom is to name the regular library patrons that come in. So far, we have:

1. Wyatt Earp - he's got a mustache Wyatt would be envious of, and the smell of a cowboy to match.

2. The Tutor - he tutors high school kids in math, and seems like a pretty good guy.

3. The Girl Tutor - pretty much like The Tutor, but a girl version.

4. Shirley Jackson - This guy comes in and researches the draws on the state lottery. He writes them all down in a log sheet. I think he's trying to develop some formulas or something.

5. Sign Guy - When he's done using whatever books he reads, this really sweet elderly man stands outside of the library and stares at the sign where our hours are posted. He writes them down on a piece of paper, but never remembers what the library hours are.

6. Pet Store - sadly, this guy smells like a pet store. End of story.

The Internet ≠ The Library

Isn't Wikipedia grand? Yes, for some things.

But take a look at this article regarding 10 Reasons Why the Internet Is No Substitute for a Library.

Intro

Here's a quick summary of my life - I worked as a part-time library page in high school and all 4 years of college. I graduated with a degree and got a job in my field where I worked for 8 1/2 years, then I got laid off. I managed to get the same job I had in college but now I'm 30. And I'm engaged. And we're living with my Mom.

Needless to say, life has thrown me for a loop. After thinking about how much I'd come to dislike the world of my major, I decided to go to library school for my Master's and become a librarian. I'm currently enrolled in an online program and taking 2 classes per semester with an expected graduation date of December 2010.

Shortly after that, I'd like to get a job as a children's librarian.

After that, I'd like to write and illustrate children's books.

After that, I'd like to become a senior librarian.

After that, I'd like one of my children's books to be optioned as a motion picture.

After that, I'd like to become a principal librarian.

After that, I'd like to star in the second motion picture based on one of my children's books.

After that, I'd like to become City Librarian.

Needless to say, I have some things planned out.